Melancholy of a Helpless Moron

masaya ka nga, masaya ba sya?

sa tingin mo ba’y napapansin ka nya?

hindi mo lang ba maamin sa ‘yong sarili?

o sadyang tanggap mo lang na ika’y sawi…

ilang gabi mo s’yang iniisip,

ni hindi mo na nga magawang maidlip;

sa tingin mo ba’y tulad mo sya’ng nag-iisip,

o kanina pang nahihimbing at nananaginip…

handa mong gawin ang lahat para sa kanya,

pero ang totoo’y sarili’y nahihirapan na;

kelan ka ba matututo’t magtatanda,

hahayaan na lang bang malugmok sa pagkadapa?

siguro nga, kahit ilang beses ka niyang saktan,

maghihintay ka pa rin at aasang mapagbigyan;

mas hahayaan mong ika’y mabalewala,

kaysa tuluyan s’yang sa iyo’y mawala…

isang umaga magigising ka rin sa katotohanan,

at baka isang araw, lilipas din ang naramdaman…

spread your wings and carry me through the night

let’s fill ourselves with beauty from the stars above

i know i’d be safe because i’m with you tonight

the moments are ours and everything is all we have

though we only have borrowed time to cherrish

and all that we’re sharing will end up ephemeral

seconds maybe fleeting but i know we’ll relish

my glasshour ending with memories of a spectral

after tonight, i know you’ll soar back to where you came

where everything’s ideal and happiness is not imaginary

tomorrow i’ll realize, all that’s left with me here’s the same

i’m still in this world where nothing’s out of the ordinary…

i’d rather spend time in solitude where everything’s true,

than make myself believe that i’ve found an angel in you…

hindi ka ba makatulog sa kakaisip,

na parang mulat na nananaginip;

tila nagbabalik ang mga alaala,

habang nangingting mag-isa…

hindi ka rin ba inaabutan ng gana,

kahit na pagkai’y nasa harap mo na;

di alam kung ano’ng dapat isipin,

kahit anong balak, talagang ayaw pa rin…

hindi ba talaga mapakali ang buhay mo,

at parang ang lahat ay sobrang gulo;

hindi malaman-malaman ang iyong gagawin,

at bigla na lang mapapatitig sa hangin…

sadya nga yatang malala na ang iyong sakit,

na tila sa buong katawan mo’y tuluyang kumapit;

mukhang sa tulad nati’y hinding-hindi babagay,

ang magmahal ng lubusan kahit kapalit ay buhay…

please don’t look at me,

don’t even give a smile;

don’t think i’m happy,

better alone for a while…

please don’t tell you’re so glad,

that you enjoy my company;

that nothing will turn out bad,

with me, you’ll never be lonely…

please don’t talk to me until it’s over,

let’s just wait until the night’s moment ends;

‘coz another minute we’re together,

the real agony deep within extends…

with just one look from you, with just one smile

i know I’d fall again for another mile…

isang gabi’y tayo’y namasyal,

tila sa atin ang bawat oras;

siguro’y para mapawi ang pagkapagal,

at mabawi ang mga ngiting nangupas…

tuloy tuloy lang sa ating paglalakad,

na parang wala tayong patutunguhan;

ang dilim ng gabi’y sa ati’y matingkad,

salamat sa mga tala’t liwanag ng buwan…

ngunit maya-maya la’y matatapos na rin,

sadyang hindi lahat ng bagay ay mananatili;

ang mga panahong tinuring nating sa atin,

ilang segundo pa’y paalam na ang hahalili…

isang gabi’y mauulit din ang ganitong tagpo,

kung san ang mga pangarap ay di maglalaho…

why do we paint our lives with patterns of sadness,

and put too much passion on something we believe in;

are we really looking for that one thing called happiness,

or just an escape from the weakness found deep within?

we can never ignore the fact that we can withstand anything,

being ignored, neglected, left standing alone under the rain;

face up, smiling while haunted by the fact that you’re nothing,

to the person who gives you life, together with echoing pain…

we place ourselves in a dim corner, shivering with silence,

where shadows are friends and everything is definitely imaginary;

under the canopy of thoughts pounded by our mere conscience,

and the truth behind our once upon a time story…

now we’re here, asking one question after being that wishful,

could this be the end of something… beautiful…

now the radio’s playing your song,

the melody’s making it’s way here;

seconds pass, they seem so long,

with lyrics i never thought, I’d hear…

so you thought it was that easy for me,

to let everything slip and take its toll;

how i wish that you were there to see,

how everything ended in a hard fall…

but nonetheless, i wish you the best,

i know that out there, you’ll find someone better;

with nothing holding you back to rest,

and let go of all the things that really matter…

now the radio’s playing your song again,

this time, the piece is for you, just listen……

…inspired by the song Someday by Nina

heto na’t magbubukas na’ng mga kurtina,

maya maya lang ay magsisimula na ang programa;

halina’t ihanda ang iyong mga mata,

wag kang kukurap at baka may hindi makita…

hindi mo masasabi kung ano’ng mangyayari,

sa bawat eksena’y may nakatagong sorpresa;

minsan ika’y tatawa, at minsa’y babahain ng luha,

isang minuto, ika’y umiibig, maya-maya’y nagdurusa…

tila mga bitwing nagsihulog sa langit,

mga aktor na sadya ngang kaakit-akit;

mga matatamis na ngiti’y sa kanila’y namumutawi,

sa likod ay pagluha’t lubos na pighati…

tara na’t panoorin ang daloy ng bawat tagpo,

kasabay ang bawat segundong tuloy sa pagtakbo;

halina’t panoorin ang bawat pag-iyak at pagtawa,

dito sa entablado ng buhay kong madrama…

it may appear that this man has it all,

everything you and I could ask, he knows,

and everytime you’ll see him, he stands tall,

while the aura of his persona glows…

but who would have thought of his trickery,

with the disguise he’s wearing everyday;

the man you’ll never expect with frailty

the man you know that will stand up and stay…

deep inside he knows he’s hurt and bleeding,

and the only cure he knows: a fake smile;

how he wish to dampen the shrill screaming,

everthing in silence haunted with bile…

everyone may feel he’s perfectly fine,

to him, everything’s like feb twenty nine…

sadya ngang mabilis ang agos ng buhay

at lahat ng bagay ay kanyang tinatangay

hindi man natin pansinin

hindi man natin aminin

may mga araw na namumukadkad ang ngiti

at may mga araw na umuuwing sawi

gustuhin mang makaalpas

sa huli’y wala pa ring takas

ngayon, mga puso’y bigkis ng pagmamahalan

bukas, pawang mga kaluluwa’y naiwan na sa kawalan

hindi man ito mamalayan

at hinding-hindi inasahan

mamayang gabi, yakapin man ako ng mga alaala

aasa pa rin na baka bukas, sana bukas,  ako na ang pinagpala

sino ba’ng gustong mag-isa?

at mabuhay sa anino ng pagdurusa…